"HOW TO SPOT A FEMINIST: One pastor’s opinion"
Ecclesiastes 1.9-11 reads,
9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
10 Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.
The essence of these three verses is that human behavior and conduct down through the ages is repetitive and not new, and that succeeding generations will not remember the behavior of previous generations so as to learn for the future from things that have already occurred. Should you want to prepare yourself to more carefully deal with what may be a jarring read, I will provide links to the Internet for you to examine and reflect on the issues I deal with. What I will present to you might very well trouble you, so I strongly advise you to take advantage of what I am offering you.
First, please watch the five minute video titled “Bonhoeffer’s Theory of Stupidity,” which presents the opinion of the Christian martyr during World War Two named Dietrich Bonhoeffer who reflected deeply on the nature of the evil that he observed in Nazi Germany.1
Next, spend a moment or two thinking about the towering intellect, C. S. Lewis’ observation commonly labeled Chronological Snobbery.2
Third, there is the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the tendency of ignorant people to wildly overestimate both their intelligence and their understanding of situations they are woefully uninformed about.3
Fourth, there is the “Semmelweis-reflex.” The label “Semmelweis-reflex” was coined to describe the automatic rejection of ideas without giving them the slightest thought, inspection, or experiment, simply because they challenge entrenched paradigms. Claiming that hand washing would save lives, Ignaz Semmelweis faced ridicule and strong opposition from medical colleagues.
I mention these four observations in addition to the passage I provided from Ecclesiastes because far too many people behave in predictable, rather thoughtless, and profoundly unwise ways contrary to their own long-term self-interests. Of all the topics I might choose to focus on that fall into the predictable, thoughtless, and unwise category, there is one area of interest that I find most provocative: feminism.
Feminism is so pervasive, so influential, and so utterly destructive that I must do more than offer passing remarks, criticisms, and observations about it from time to time. I must present this opinion that I have titled “HOW TO SPOT A FEMINIST: One pastor’s opinion.” Why would someone want to spot a feminist?
There are two reasons: First, if after reading this article you spot a feminist while looking in the mirror, you will be faced with the need for and opportunity to repent. Or, if after reading this article, you spot a feminist in your observations of others, you will know to be wary of those who are potential threats to themselves, to you, and to others as purveyors of demonic doctrine and a decidedly anti-Christian worldview.
Since this is a survey, I will briefly touch on issues on the fly. Do not imagine my remarks are not only documented but also mature from years of study, reflection, and observation. This brief article may serve as the foundation for a book, but for now, it will serve as a skeleton for framing an introductory alert that I trust will be beneficial to the young, the spiritually inexperienced, and those who are humbly receptive.
I present six points:
First, IGNORE WHAT THE FEMINIST SAYS, ATTEND TO WHAT THE FEMINIST DOES
Helen Reddy used to sing the song, “I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman.” None of those things are actually true, because according to the Bible no one is strong, no one is invincible, and the political left can no longer identify what a woman is. Podcaster Matt Walsh famously produced a movie in 2022 titled “What is a woman?” He was unable to find healthcare professionals who could clearly and distinctly define what a woman is, though they loudly proclaim themselves to be feminists. At the end of the movie, it was Walsh’s wife who provided a definition, stating that a woman is an adult biological female. On top of all that, we have a DEI Supreme Court Associate Justice who could not answer the question, “What is a woman?” because she said she is not a biologist!
Feminists proclaim their advocacy for women. They do this while urging women everywhere to engage in the murder of their unborn, to stridently oppose the spiritual leadership of their husbands if they are married, and to engage in a deadening and life-destroying sexual promiscuity. Back in the day, leaders of the feminist movement, such as Betty Friedan, pretended to be ordinary housewives who advocated for women, but were in fact committed and determined Marxists set on the destruction of American culture, no matter the cost to women.4
Regardless of what feminists say they believe, they are more often than not recognizable by their tendency to bristle in the presence of men who are not metrosexuals, men who are not beta males, and men who are and who act like gentlemen.
Next, NOTE THAT INFLUENCE IS NOT THE ISSUE FOR THE FEMINIST, BUT AGENDA
The Bible is remarkably clear in prescribing the relationship God has designed for married men and women.5 The relationship is not so much defined by intelligence, competency, or character. While the relationship is affected by those three factors, the spiritual leader in a marriage is always the husband, never the wife.
While the Bible presents strong evidence of a wife's increasing influence over her husband over time, establishing that the mind of God has always provided for female influence in a marriage, it is supposed to be the leader who sets the agenda. To state the matter another way, the husband establishes the agenda for their marriage and for their family. Regardless of the agenda that appears to be implemented by a determined and thoughtful wife, it cannot be a good agenda, nor will it be a wholesome agenda, if it is not the agenda established by a godly husband.
Regardless of what is obvious from a consideration of the Bible, and regardless of what the feminist says about loving God and wanting to exalt Jesus, if she drives her family’s agenda and generally sets the course for the family, she is not exhibiting a love for God and is certainly not demonstrating an effort to exalt Jesus Christ. That is undeniable.
Third, OBSERVE THE TACTICS EMPLOYED BY THE FEMINIST, AND THE STRATEGY BEHIND THE TACTICS
Consider only the tactic employed by the feminist mother of an infant or toddler when dealing with her husband, or the father of her child. Notice how frequently her conduct demonstrates her view that she does have, and certainly ought to have, the final say with regard to the disposition of the child. She, and only she, serves as the final arbiter of the children's welfare.
If there is a disagreement regarding the activities of the child, regarding the welfare of the child, regarding the recreation of the child, regarding the nutrition of the child, regarding the correction and discipline the child, when push comes to shove, the feminist demonstrates her tactical approach to the child’s father with regard to ultimate authority. That is her tactic.
What is her strategy? Her strategy is to establish herself as the ultimate authority in the child’s life, at all costs. By establishing herself as the ultimate authority in the life of a child, of course, she diminishes the authority of God in the life of the child, and the authority of her husband in the life of the child, the child’s father. The feminist deviates from the established biblical chain of command as a strategy, using various tactics. The strategy replaces God and God’s designee as the head of the household with his wife, who is described in the Bible as his helper.
Thus, feminism emasculates men in their homes, in front of their children, and in society as a whole, with the court system in our country being all in with regard to the replacement of fathers as heads of the household with mothers. It has proven to be an effective strategy.
Fourth, SOME BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF FEMINISTS
My working definition of a woman who is a feminist is a woman whose actions undermine the role God has assigned to men, usually her husband, while exalting herself to a position in the marriage (if she is married) and the home that was never intended by God.
First, of course, there was Eve. We see her insubordination in Genesis chapter 3, in the Garden of Eden, where she presumed to ignore her God-assigned role as Adam’s helper. Without deferring to her husband as she ought to have, she made a fatal error by exercising authority she did not legitimately possess, and compounded her error by then offering the forbidden fruit to her husband.
Next, Potiphar’s wife. We are introduced to this character in the life of Joseph, the son of Jacob, and great-grandson of Abraham, after he was sold into Egyptian slavery and was serving in the house of Potipher. Potipher’s wife attempted to seduce the young man, tempting him to not only commit sin with her but also commit the sin of betraying her husband. Potipher’s wife attempted to sin against her own body, sinned against Joseph, and undermined with her disloyalty the position of her husband in his household and in their marriage.
Third, David’s wife, Michal. After the sweet psalmist of Israel killed the Philistine giant, Goliath, he was taken into the household of Israel’s first king, Saul, who gave his daughter Michal to David as his wife. After Saul’s jealousy drove David away for fear of his life, Saul gave his daughter to a second husband because he was confident he would succeed in his efforts to kill David. He failed. David became king. Once restored to her first and rightful husband, David, Michal publicly ridiculed her husband for dancing with delight before the Ark of the Covenant as it was being relocated.6 Rather than being the helper God designed her to be as his wife, Michal destroyed her own marriage with her out-of-control mouth, which is somewhat typical of feminists. No wonder Solomon wrote a great deal about such mouthy wives in Proverbs.
Fourth, Jezebel, the wife of Ahab. Jezebel is the virtual prototype of the manipulative and controlling wife who overwhelmed her pathetically weak husband with the determination of her strong personality. Jezebel was a condescending and arrogant wife, treating her husband as the adolescent he too often behaved like. So many marriages these days are arrangements between an adult man-child and a grown woman who treats the man she is married to more like her oldest son than she defers to him as the spiritual leader and head of the household.
Fifth, Athaliah. Most people do not recognize this woman, who usurped the throne in Judah when her son, the king, died. She sought to murder everyone in her son’s extended family to preserve her position, but failed in her plan when her grandson’s life was preserved. Like so many of the feminists before her, Athaliah was ruthless.
Had I more space, I could flesh out the explanations of these feminists' efforts that denigrated the men in their lives, usually in a very public way, while giving no thought to the plan and purpose of God when He established the family unit.
Fifth, SOME BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF FEMININITY
Be careful to note from the examples I will share with you that none of the women mentioned are perfect. Just as there is no such thing as a perfect man, other than the Savior, there is no such thing as a perfect woman. The women that I will list for you, whether named or described, were women whose lives were touched by the grace of God, showing what can be in the life of a godly woman.
First, Sarah. At first, her name was Sarai, bitterness. But God changed her name and her heart, and Sarah became an example of faith. Mentioned by the Apostle Paul twice in his letter to the Romans, Sarah’s faith is also mentioned in Hebrews 11.11. And in first Peter 3.6 she is held up by the apostle as an example for all wives to follow.
Next, Abigail. If you have been around me for very long, you know that Abigail is one of my favorites, being a sterling example of how to make a biblical appeal to someone occupying a position of unassailable authority. Abigail was not without her issues, related to the fact that she was married to a fool. That said, in most respects, she was an example for women to follow.
Third, Bathsheba. Our introduction to Bathsheba in the Word of God raises many questions about the wife of Uriah the Hittite, such as her complicity with King David, their act of adultery, her failure to cry out in the city, David’s subsequent murder of her husband, and her willingness to participate in the cover-up of her pregnancy. At the end of David’s life, however, we see Bathsheba cooperating and collaborating with the prophet Nathan, going the extra mile to honor her now feeble and aged husband, and suggesting that in many ways she was not at the end of her life anything like the young woman she was at the beginning of her life. There is evidence of her growth in grace over time.
Fourth, Proverbs 31.10-31. Much could be said about the virtuous woman described in this chapter, but for lack of time. She is an example of an extremely accomplished woman and wife whose conduct in no way detracted from her husband’s reputation.
Fifth, Esther. The Jewish girl who became the queen of Persia could not have survived if she had been as explicitly obedient to the Mosaic Law as the prophet Daniel had been. Nevertheless, while she was a flawed individual (and who is not flawed?), she demonstrated wisdom in her dealings with her husband. There is much about her conduct as the wife of King Ahasuerus that women of all ages might benefit from emulating.
Sixth, Dorcas / Tabitha and Lydia. The woman in Acts 9 was likely of low station. The woman of Acts chapter 16 was likely a woman of high station, a businesswoman. Yet, whether occupying a low station of life or a high station of life, nothing is said about either woman that would even slightly suggest they were not exemplary of Christian womanhood.
Seventh, Titus 2.1-5:
1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
This passage only scratches the surface regarding womanhood, being a wife, and being a mother. There is so much generational knowledge that needs to be passed from experienced, aged, godly women to young women who know nothing about womanhood, nothing about being a wife, and nothing about being a mother. Yet feminism produces females who imagine there is nothing for them to learn from others.
Eighth, First Peter 3.1:
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives."
Of course, the passage that begins with this verse runs through verse six, but I would like to point out a single truth. The Christian woman who’s married to a non-Christian man, or an unspiritual and disobedient Christian man, is provided with a directive. Notice what the directive does not do. It does not direct the wife to take the reins of leadership in the marriage or in the home. At no time is the Christian woman authorized to seize control of the family because her husband is lax in the performance of his duties, obligations, and responsibilities as the spiritual leader in his home. This the feminist cannot abide.
Finally, SOME BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH THE FEMINIST THREAT
This advice is good for dealing with any kind of spiritual threat, but the focus at this time is the existential threat of feminism, which has overthrown the established roles of husbands and wives in marriage, and men and women in society:
First, seek advice. Most of what I am saying about feminism is for men, while recognizing that men are the least likely to seek advice when it is needed. People laugh at a man who is lost and refuses to ask for directions, but it is a reminder of the tendency among so many men to think it is more important to act on their idea than to make the right decision. Much of what comes into a man’s mind is just really stupid, and the reason so many men don’t want to talk about what they’re thinking about doing is that in the back of our mind we know that when we put into words what we’re thinking about doing, the words coming out of our mouth will sound stupid, because they are stupid. Men really need to seek advice. It is not beneficial to anyone for men to refuse to seek advice when making important decisions. In the multitude of counsel there is safety.
Second, don’t expect what you don’t inspect. This runs parallel to that great theologian, Ronald Reagan, who always urged people to trust but verify. There are sometimes things going on in a man’s house that he knows nothing about, because he is not paying attention. Too often, men make the notoriously bad decision that their wives’ actions and decisions do not need oversight. Excuse me, the importance of oversight in no way suggests that your wife is not intelligent, is not wise, and might not be a better decision-maker than you are. But you are abandoning your God-given role as a spiritual leader if you do not engage in the oversight of every aspect of your marriage and family, including the decisions that your wife makes. If she is making good decisions and you take note of them, it will only enhance her value to you and your confidence in her wisdom.
Third, let me recommend the book “A Theology of the Family.”7 No matter how long you have been married, or how much you think you know about marriage, about raising children, about being the man or the woman that you and your wife ought to be, you cannot help but be blessed and improved upon by reading this book (preferably with your wife).
Finally, immerse yourself in the company of the godly men in your Church. It is certainly not a wise woman who seeks to discourage her husband’s participation in the body life of the Church with other men. Such shortsighted, selfish feminist shortsightedness serves only to deprive men of the fellowship and experiences that can make them better men, better husbands, better fathers, and better grandfathers. The man who does not recognize the benefit to him and others of his spending time in and around the company of godly men identifies himself as spiritually immature and unwise. The woman who does not recognize the benefit to her and to her husband of his spending time in and around the company of godly men identifies herself as selfish, shortsighted, and likely a feminist. Remember, the agenda is supposed to be set by the man, not the wife.
I will admit to you that over the last several years I have been captivated by YouTube videos that report the lives of two couples: Prince Harry and his wife, Megan, the cable TV actress, and actor Johnny Depp and his ex-wife, Amber Heard.
My interest in those two couples stemmed from my conviction that both women are cutting-edge third-wave feminists and that they are married to, or were married to, what I referred to as manageable men. The only kind of man a feminist can tolerate is a manageable man. If a man demonstrates manliness, his manliness is labeled by feminists as toxic masculinity. So, Prince Harry and Johnny Depp are manageable men.
I have formed the additional opinion that feminists, whether they be wildly promiscuous and secular or prim and proper churchgoing professing Christians, believe that a well-ordered universe demands that men be manageable and that women manage them. They insist on managing their sons as they grow up, are outraged to discover a son as uncontrollable as a wild horse, and are happy only with sons they can push around and boss.
The Bible teaches us that he that findeth the wife findeth a good thing, but the feminist has no interest in being found by a man. Such an event violates her understanding of how the universe ought to operate: with her in control, with her doing all the planning, with her doing the deciding, and with the man she has selected being manageable. So long as a man is manageable, like Prince Harry is proving to be, his wife will be quite happy as she makes his decisions for him and, one by one, cuts all ties with anyone who might influence him more than she does.
This is the pattern with the feminist. She wants to get her man out of his neighborhood, away from his classmates, away from his longtime buddies and pals, and if necessary, away from his Church. Why is this? Because only she should control him. In time, she will get him away from his family, from his parents, and from his siblings, so she and only she can be the dominant influence and controlling force in his life. She will brook no interference with her determination to establish the agenda.
If it turns out that she cannot control her manageable man, which was the case with Johnny Depp because he was such a dissolute drunkard and fornicator, then the feminist is left with no alternative. The man who is not manageable is the man who must be destroyed. The problem with Amber, of course, is that she attempted to destroy a very passive individual, but one who had almost inexhaustible financial resources to hire the best attorneys money can buy. If Johnny Depp were not a multimillionaire, his ex-wife would have succeeded in destroying him for not being manageable.
I have seen this dynamic for many, many years. I know pastors who are manageable men, and whose wives expertly dominate and control them without them having a clue that they are being manipulated. From selecting his personal attire, to changing his preaching style and sermon content, to granting permission to begin the worship services, I have seen women control men in every conceivable way.
I am also aware of girls growing to be women in Churches who decided they would not expose the manageable man they had chosen to marry to their pastor (who they may like, perhaps love, but dare not expose their husband or husband-to-be to me) for fear that their man might learn to become unmanageable, which is to say manly.
It has happened in my ministry as well as other Churches, usually taking the form of the feminist not exposing her manageable man to a masculine congregation, or a feminist determined to remove her manageable man from a masculine congregation. So, how does a feminist cut the ties? Because she must cut the ties. We see it happening with Prince Harry, his wife having cut herself off from her father, her half-sister, and her half-brother, and keeping only her mother because she is controllable. Then, she turned her attention to Prince Harry’s family, one by one destroying the relationships he had with his brother, father, grandmother, grandfather, and cousins by rewriting the family history.
I have seen it happen in Churches. The feminist, and I first saw this at my first pastorate, must accuse the congregation of being unfriendly. The friendliest Church in existence must be redefined as unfriendly, because once you define a congregation as unfriendly, you can reinterpret every action and comment made by everyone, and this would include every inaction and noncomment made by everyone, as being unfriendly.
Understand the process. Every single time, once the Church has been redefined as unfriendly, the individual friendships will be severed, followed by coworker relationships, then family relationships, and finally the suggestion that you relocate. The goal of the feminist is to get you from where you are to where she wants you to be so that she and only she is the controlling influence in your life. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not your siblings. Not your lifelong friends. Not your congregation. Certainly not your pastor. Only her.
This is a survey. It is superficial. It is primarily opinion. It is worth further consideration, including seeking the advice and counsel of others.
2 “The uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate of our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that count discredited.” - C. S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy. London: HarperCollins, 2012.
3 “Dunning-Kruger effect, in psychology, a cognitive bias whereby people with limited knowledge or competence in a given intellectual or social domain greatly overestimate their own knowledge or competence in that domain relative to objective criteria or to the performance of their peers or of people in general. - https://www.britannica.com/science/Dunning-Kruger-effect - https://youtu.be/GJz66wm95-M
4 https://www.discoverthenetworks.org/individuals/betty-friedan/
5 Genesis 2.18; 1 Corinthians 11.9; 1 Timothy 2.13
6 2 Samuel 6.16-23
7 Jeff Pollard & Scott T. Brown, editors, A Theology Of The Family, (Wake Forest, NC: The National Center For Family Integrated Churches, 2014)
