Proverbs 10.1 reads, “A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.”
Setting aside the implications of the parallelism of this verse, focus
with me on the dilemma parents face with their unsaved children, more so as
their children reach adulthood and various stages of what passes for success in
the world. Perhaps a child is handsome, athletic, personable, academically
successful, or successful as an entrepreneur but remains unconverted to Christ.
What a challenge Christian parents face!
It is one thing to like your child, to love your child, and to want to
get along with your child without conflict and contention. At the same time, it
is always the case that an unsaved child is God’s enemy (Romans 5.10) and in desperate
need of regeneration, and reconciliation with God, which only comes with a
relationship with Jesus Christ.
One of the traditional congregational hymns our congregation sings occasionally
is titled “Who Is On The Lord’s Side?” The song was written when the lines of
demarcation between the saved and the lost were more clearly drawn than they
seem today. And in many families, there is a tacit acknowledgment by moms and
dads that their offspring (some or all of them) are not on the Lord’s side, so the issue is never addressed, referred to, or
alluded to. Sometimes Christian parents never witness to their children, while others are oblique and suggestive
without the directness that honesty dictates. Why so?
There are various reasons, including spiritual cowardice by professing
Christian parents (which seems to fly in the face of Second Timothy 1.7.
Sometimes the cause is a genuine perplexity about addressing your child’s lost
condition without excessive agitation or provocation (Ephesians 6.4). Sometimes
parents want to kick the can down the road hoping someone else will address
their son or daughter’s lost condition. There are even Christian parents who
seem oblivious to the spiritual situation of their child and do not seem to
appreciate their danger as someone condemned already (John 3.18).
Note the word “glad” in Proverbs 10.1, translating a Hebrew word found
in more than 140 OT verses, as frequently translated “rejoice” as “glad.” Having
a wise son makes a dad glad and causes a father to rejoice, with the same obviously
true of mom. However, many parents seem to be glad and rejoice, although their
son (or daughter) is not wise, does not fear God, and does not embrace the Savior.
How can this happen? Pretty easily, actually. When parents are not
Bible students, not continually reminded and reinforced about God’s will, God’s
delight, and God’s purpose, they can quickly be caught up in their uninformed and
uninstructed love for their child, their delight in their child’s worldly
accomplishments, while not attending to the terrible plight of their child as
someone estranged from God.
You like your kid. You love your kid. Nothing wrong with that. You are tempted
to rejoice in your child’s temporal accomplishments. And you want no conflict
at Thanksgiving, Christmas, or birthday celebrations. And when there are
grandchildren, the temptations to get along are more pronounced. But the fact
is that your beloved son or daughter is condemned already, and you dare not forget
your parental duty in the hopes someone else will step in and witness to your
child for you.
I know what it is like to love a lost child, to want to smooth over any
ripples in your relationship with your lost child, and to wonder how best to be
faithful to God first, with your youngster not being your primary concern in life and service. It should strongly
motivate you to pray and study God’s Word. And there is a danger to be avoided:
being glad for your child though he is not wise, not reconciled to the Savior,
and does not fear God.
How does that posture help your child? It does not, but it makes it easier for him to maintain his delusion of spiritual safety. I encourage you to seek wisdom from God to love your child, get along with your child, like your child, and enjoy what you can in your child’s life. But avoid being duped into the gladness, the rejoicing as a father (or a mother) that should be reserved for the child who fears God, bends the knee to Christ, and seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness first.
